Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

This time 007 is looking into a Diamond smuggling operation, he assumes the identity of Peter Franks, joins up with Tiffany Case. Between all this he has a strange two men who are after him, Mr Wint and Mr Kidd.

From the moment the film starts, you feel uneasy! I’ll use the following phrase for the first time on the Bondathon – the phrase, “tongue in cheek!”. Yes, the Moore years didn’t start it, this film did. We’re suddenly in the 1970s and even with the return of a somewhat very aged looking Connery, we have Bond starting to slip into Panto mode! Not fully all the way, but drifting, if you will. Mind, there is a definite ‘camp’ tone to this film. Connery’s performance is lazy and unfortunately hammy which is not surprising as he only returned for one last film as a contract with the studio enabled him to make a further two pictures of his own choice. 

This film just feels weird and ill conceived. There’s a car chase involving Bond stealing a moon buggy that looks like a reject from Toys R Us! 007 is almost killed by two women called Bambi & Thumper. We have a Bond girl with the brain the size of a gnat and the personality of a sponge. A villain that belongs in a pantomime as the wicked witch rather than the man to take on 007. The worst part for a fan is the fact that this if the last (official) time we see Blofeld and he’s a ham of a man. Oh! And don’t forget the (best Dr Evil impression voice) a giant lazezzzzer in space!

What is nice is the finale battle sequence, an original use of an oil rig and helicopters attacking it and you have one hell of a action set piece. Here we see Connery in action for the last time, a very nice curtain call for the original Mr Bond.

Ok, the simple fact here is that we are watching these one after another and it has become obvious to us, that we notice a dud and we are very unforgiving, unlike in a normal viewing situation, i.e. having to wait 2+ years for the next adventure!!  So with that in mind and a need for coffee I’ll bid Mr Connery goodbye and just say – this film does not stand the test of time! 

Unfortunately you can tell that the producers were pre-occupied with future plans and obviously going through the motions on this one, keeping the studio happy in doing so and cementing a future for Mr Bond after Sean Connery. Ironically when killing Mr Wint and Mr Kidd, his last pun was, ‘he left with his tail between his legs’

Rating: 2 out of 5

Rhys