Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

This time 007 is looking into a Diamond smuggling operation, he assumes the identity of Peter Franks, joins up with Tiffany Case. Between all this he has a strange two men who are after him, Mr Wint and Mr Kidd.

From the moment the film starts, you feel uneasy! I’ll use the following phrase for the first time on the Bondathon – the phrase, “tongue in cheek!”. Yes, the Moore years didn’t start it, this film did. We’re suddenly in the 1970s and even with the return of a somewhat very aged looking Connery, we have Bond starting to slip into Panto mode! Not fully all the way, but drifting, if you will. Mind, there is a definite ‘camp’ tone to this film. Connery’s performance is lazy and unfortunately hammy which is not surprising as he only returned for one last film as a contract with the studio enabled him to make a further two pictures of his own choice. 

This film just feels weird and ill conceived. There’s a car chase involving Bond stealing a moon buggy that looks like a reject from Toys R Us! 007 is almost killed by two women called Bambi & Thumper. We have a Bond girl with the brain the size of a gnat and the personality of a sponge. A villain that belongs in a pantomime as the wicked witch rather than the man to take on 007. The worst part for a fan is the fact that this if the last (official) time we see Blofeld and he’s a ham of a man. Oh! And don’t forget the (best Dr Evil impression voice) a giant lazezzzzer in space!

What is nice is the finale battle sequence, an original use of an oil rig and helicopters attacking it and you have one hell of a action set piece. Here we see Connery in action for the last time, a very nice curtain call for the original Mr Bond.

Ok, the simple fact here is that we are watching these one after another and it has become obvious to us, that we notice a dud and we are very unforgiving, unlike in a normal viewing situation, i.e. having to wait 2+ years for the next adventure!!  So with that in mind and a need for coffee I’ll bid Mr Connery goodbye and just say – this film does not stand the test of time! 

Unfortunately you can tell that the producers were pre-occupied with future plans and obviously going through the motions on this one, keeping the studio happy in doing so and cementing a future for Mr Bond after Sean Connery. Ironically when killing Mr Wint and Mr Kidd, his last pun was, ‘he left with his tail between his legs’

Rating: 2 out of 5

Rhys

You Only Live Twice (1967)

An American space capsule is stolen in Earth’s orbit, the Russians are the number one suspects – however SPECTRE are the real villains with a masterplan. Bond must prove this, stop them and all in time to stop USA and USSR going into World War III.

The opening sequence is just huge in scale, space capsule swallowing space capsule, Earth in the background and an astronaut murdered – followed by 007 being assassinated. From just these short scenes, you can tell you are back in the producing hands of Saltzman and Broccoli after Kevin McClory had the reins over Thunderball.

Let’s not mess about here – this is a new breed of Bond film. It’s when the series becomes out and out action adventure, rather than an espionage thriller. There’s so many action sequences in this film – not just at the end with a mighty finale, like Goldfinger and Thunderball. Here it’s all the way through, from a car chase across the streets of Tokyo, ending with a car picked up by a giant magnet and dumped in the see, a roof top fight with 007 versus twenty goons – which is shot from a aerial camera that gives it a stunning scope and lets not even try and forget Little Nellie. A mini helicopter air battle – there is just no time to catch your breath. This is what a Bond film is and it’s by far the one I’m enjoying the most so far – come on James!

Ok! Not everything works, there are some bad stereotypes when it comes to the Japanese characters, not sure if it’s a testament to the time the film was made or just an unfortunate side effect of a Western film made with a large content of East? Mind one thing is for sure – Sean Connery ‘transformed’ into a Japanese man with make up, well he looks more like a Vulcan from Star Trek!

All is forgiven for a giant base, hidden inside a volcano! Oh just heaven with a double o!  Moving quickly passed any reference to Austin Powers – this is the Bond film that was obviously the influence for that film. The set piece is just stunning – the set is just, well just huge. Ken Adam is a magician, bringing scale, style and outlandish scope to the look of the film.

Within this volcano, we finally have the reveal of Blofeld and here he is played by Donald Pleasence and quite frankly no one plays the role better –he plays it as a sinister, insane, sociopath with a speech pattern that sends shivers down your spine. Sean Connery is as ever fantastic here, he is Bond, weird thing mind! When you watch these films back to back like we are – you actually see an actor age in front of you!

To me, there are two great Sean Connery Bond movies, they are Goldfinger and this film – this film is fun, action packed and with a very strong villain. This is Bond at his best.

Rating: 5 out of 5

Rhys