Bondathon Podcast Part 7!!! We did it!!

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Here you go the final Podcast of the challenge at least - Daniel Craig. Casino Royale, Quantum Of Solace and SkyFall (NO SPOILERS) Enjoy!!!

Quantum Of Solace (2008)

Starting immediately after Casino Royale finishes, Quantum Of Solace starts with Bond interrogating Mr White to learn more about the mysterious organisation he works for. Whilst following leads to the organisation- Quantum- Bond, still seeking vengeance for the death of his lover Vesper, comes into contact with environmentalist Dominic Greene whose philanthropy masks a more sinister plan.

The opening section of the film is just astounding – the car chase through the Italian countryside leading into the fight scene at the Palio horse-race in Siena is just outstanding. The section in Austria during the opera Tosca is very well done as well, athough Bond does have a point- every time I’ve been to the opera, people get glared at and shushed if they so much as clear their throat, let alone carry on a conversation.

Mathieu Amalric’s performance as Dominic is that of a stereotypical sociopathic villain which is disappointing. Even as an agent of Quantum, he doesn’t impress.  The plan is interesting- an environmentalist planning to hold Bolivia’s water supply to ransom- but the performance just isn’t there. It also doesn’t help that his henchman Elvis- Anatole Taubman- is a buffoon. However, Greene’s demise at the end of the film is quite appropriate and satisyfing.

Luckily the rest of the cast turn in decent performances to compensate Gemma Arterton is good as Agent Fields, Bond’s link in Bolivia. It’s very much a supporting role and she doesn’t last long before she’s offed: left on Bond’s bed, drowned in oil (a not-so-subtle homage to Jill Masterson’s death in Goldfinger). Olga Kurylenko gives a strong performance as Camille, a former Bolivian secret service who is romantically linked to Greene. She has her own agenda- seeking revenge for the death of her family- and teams up with Bond in order to see it through. The lack of a romantic relationship between Camille and Bond is refreshing- both are hurting, damaged people and seeking closure. 

Giancarlo Giannini gives a decent turn as Bond’s contact Mathis, as does Jeffrey Wright as Felix Leiter, both reprising their roles from Casino Royale. Indeed, with the ongoing plotlines of Quantum and who was blackmailing Vesper, this could have easily been Casino Royale: Part Two. It does feel like the subplot of Greene and the water has been tacked on, as if they needed to find something to flesh the film out.

At a positively svelte 102 minutes, every moment needs to hit its mark- and sadly there are sections that don’t. Marc Forster’s direction is occasionally lacklustre and, much like Casino Royale, the pace lags in places. The announcement of each new location with a title card soon becomes incredibly annoying. The biggest criticism I can probably level at the film is that this is a perfectly serviceable thriller but doesn’t feel like a Bond film.

Rating: 3 out of 5

Tez

Countdown: The Watchers' 10 Worst Bond Villains

Sadly, just as not every Bond film can be a Goldfinger, not every Bond villain can be a Scaramanga. Several of the threats that Bond has faced during his illustrious career are about as threatening as a ride on the Teacups and instil about as much fear as a three month old kitten. Here, then, are The Watchers' 10 Worst Bond Villains.


1. GUSTAV GRAVES
(played by Toby Stephens in Die Another Day)

As written, Graves comes across as a bland posh boy whose utter arrogance comes across as deeply annoying. That's before you factor in the bizarre gene therapy and space laser stuff. Stephens sadly can't do much to redeem such a fundamentally unlikeable character.





2. KAMAL KHAN
(played by Louis Jourdan in Octopussy)

When we were coming up with this countdown, we were both unable to remember this character's name- so we called him 'the villain from Octopussy'. When the best you can come up with is a vague description of a character, it doesn't bode well.

3. CARL STROMBERG
(played by Curt Jurgens in The Spy Who Loved Me)

It's a shame that The Spy Who Loved Me- such a strong film- is cursed with such a weak villain. Stromberg's plan is standard nuclear apocalypse fare and the underwater lair seems ridiculous- even if we do get the underwater Lotus as a result.





4. DR. JULIUS NO
(played by Joseph Wiseman in Dr. No)

Whilst not as bad as some other portrayals in the 1960s (Mickey Rooney in Breakfast At Tiffany's, I'm looking at you) there's something slightly racist about the portrayal of No in the film- he is half-Chinese, half-German- which severely colours any attempts at making him a credible villain.





5. ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD
(played by Charles Gray in Diamonds Are Forever)

Gray is an exceptional character actor, but sadly his performance as Blofeld is flawed. He just doesn't have the menace of Pleasance or the charm of Savalas. He isn't even bald. Plus, the whole scene in drag (whilst funny) is utterly unnecessary.





6. DOMINIC GREENE
(played by Mathieu Amalric in Quantum Of Solace)

Whilst having an environmentalist as a villain is a neat trick, Greene- like Le Chiffre- is never really a major threat due to the Quantum connection. Amalric's performance is entirely underwhelming as well.





7. ARIS CHRISTATOS
(played by Julian Glover in For Your Eyes Only)

Another example of a strong film being landed with a weak villain. Christatos is a standard Russian double agent, which we've seen in the Bond franchise previously and done much better








8. GENERAL BRAD WHITTAKER
(played by Joe Don Baker in The Living Daylights)

Whittaker's as mad as a box of frogs with a Napoleon complex which should make for an interesting character. Sadly he just seems like a tinpot crackpot wannabe-dictator which is difficult to take seriously.






9. LE CHIFFRE
(played by Mads Mikkelsen in Casino Royale)

Crying blood is interesting but it doesn't do an awful lot to differentiate Le Chiffre from many of the other identikit 'sinister businessmen' that Bond has confronted over the years. Plus, Le Chiffre isn't as big a threat as he first seems as he's having his strings pulled by Quantum.

10. LARGO
(played by Adolfo Celi in Thunderball)

Just dull. A dull villain in a dull film (It should be pointed out that this is only Tez's opinion of the film and the villain and not a unilateral one).








So who would you put in this Rogues' Gallery of underwhelming threats to 007? Telly Savalas' Blofeld? Whittaker's compatriot General Koskov, or perhaps Kamal's partner-in-crime Orlov? Let us know in the comments below.

Next week, we countdown the Ten Worst Bond Henchmen.

Countdown: The Watchers' Top 10 Bond Henchmen

As we said last week, even the best Bond villain can't try to take 007 down him (or her)self; they usually need some form of help in the form of a henchman or henchwoman. They're as integral to Bond villainy as the outlandish base and delusions of grandeur. So after some deliberation, here we present The Watchers' Top 10 Bond Henchmen


1. ODDJOB
(played by Harold Sakata in Goldfinger)

A dab hand with a razor-sharp bowler hat, Oddjob has become- like Pleasence's Blofeld with the villains- a shorthand for what a 'Bond henchman' is. It's a solid performance by former Olympic gold medal winning wrestler Sakata, full of silent menace.






2. DONALD 'RED' GRANT
(played by Robert Shaw in From Russia With Love)

A solid man-mountain, Grant is one of the most dangerous men Bond has been up against. Trained by SPECTRE to revenge the death of Dr. No, his only mission is to kill Bond. Shaw's performance is excellent as the stone-cold killer

3. JAWS
(played by Richard Kiel in The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker)

When you mention Bond films to most people, it doesn't take them long to get round to Jaws. A towering giant with large metal teeth, first an out-and-out bad guy in The Spy Who Loved Me then moving into a slightly more neutral position in Moonraker, Jaws is an iconic a part of the Bond franchise.

4. XENIA ONATOPP
(played by Famke Janssen in GoldenEye)

The most fatale of femmes, Xenia's ample charms and killer thighs make for an entertaining and very sensual combination; Janssen plays the role to the hilt, making a real impact on screen in one of her first film roles.

5. MR KIDD & MR WINT
(played by Putter Smith and Bruce Glover in Diamonds Are Forever)

Are Mr Kidd and Mr Wint a gay couple? Maybe. There are certainly a couple of subtle and not-so-subtle hints that they may be, but the performances of Smith and Glover mean they are an entertaining double-act and very much in fitting with the campy tone of the film.



6. NICK-NACK
(played by Herve Villechaize in The Man With The Golden Gun)

Scaramanga's manservant, aiding his master in his schemes, even going so far as smuggling himself aboard the train at the end of the film to take Bond out. His slightly perverse relationship with Scaramanga- trying to use others to take his employer out- is an interesting take on the usual villain/henchman dynamic.

7. ROSA KLEBB
(played by Lotte Lenya in From Russia With Love)

Klebb is a former SMERSH agent defected to SPECTRE. Strict and slightly terrifying, Klebb is miles away from the real Lenya who was, by all accounts, a gentle and friendly person. We count her as a henchman rather than a villain as the true villain of From Russia With Love is the unidentified Blofeld.

8. MR WHITE

(played by Jesper Christensen in Casino Royale and Quantum Of Solace)

The mysterious Mr. White acts as Le Chiffre's superior in Casino Royale but is actually an underling in a much larger criminal organization- Quantum. He is trying to regain money lost by Le Chiffre and maintain Quantum's integrity- and will go to any lengths to do that.

9. DR. KAUFMANN
(played by Vincent Schiavelli in Tomorrow Never Dies)

A fun little cameo from superlative character actor Schiavelli as Paris Carver's assassin, also sent to finish Bond off in his hotel room in Hamburg. Deadly, sinister yet impeccably polite, there's a lot of humour in his short but very memorable scene.





10. BORIS GRISHENKO
(played by Alan Cumming in GoldenEye)

Boris is a cunning little runt, a software programmer at the Severnaya site allied with Trevelyan and Ouromov, helping to capture Natalya. Cumming gives a very fun performance of nerdy charm, coupled with his 'I'm invincible' catchphrase.






So those are our favourites - how about yours? Let us know in the comments below.

For every yin, there must be a yang - so for each of our favourites, there is a least favourite. Next week, we will reveal our choices for the worst/most ineffectual/weakest Bond villains.

Favourite And Least Favourite Bond Themes - Tez's Choices

One of the essential parts of any Bond film is the theme song. In the week that it was confirmed that Adele has recorded the theme song for Skyfall, it seems a good time to discuss my five favourite and five least favourite of the Bond themes so far (I haven't ranked them; they're done in chronological order)

FAVOURITE SONGS

• 'Diamonds Are Forever' (Shirley Bassey)

As queen of the Bond theme (three to date), Dame Shirl would have to be here somewhere. It was a real toss-up between this and 'Moonraker' but my affection for the film Diamonds Are Forever snuck it. There's something so gloriously OTT and camp about the song which fits nicely with the film to follow.

• 'Live And Let Die' (Paul McCartney & Wings)

Recently voted the nation's favourite Bond theme (according to listeners of Radio 2), so who am I to argue? The guitars are fantastic and the rock-y nature of the song is a marked contrast from the power ballads and love songs of 60s and early 70s Bond.

• 'Nobody Does It Better' (Carly Simon)

This is a beautifully written song, beautifully sung and a song which has transcended the Bond theme origin to become a love song in its own right.

• 'License To Kill' (Gladys Knight)

There is an undeniable strength and passion to Knight's voice which suits this most powerful of power ballads. Knight's voice is just truly sublime, making this a strong entry to the Bond theme collection.

• 'GoldenEye' (Tina Turner)

 
Sinuous and slightly sensual, Turner's voice is a perfect match for the song written by Bono & The Edge from U2, providing not only a fantastic opening to the new chapter of the Bond franchise- but a fantastic opening to Tina's concerts too!


LEAST FAVOURITE SONGS

• 'The Man With The Golden Gun' (Lulu)

Lulu blares it out and even the innuendo-laden lyrics are grating and lacking in any kind of charm. Plus this is the worst kind of earworm which just nests in your head and won't go, no matter how many times you sing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' to try and dislodge it.

• 'For Your Eyes Only' (Sheena Easton)

To think that this song was nominated for an Oscar is an affront to good music. Weak, whiny and bland- and that's as much to do with the lyrics as the way they're sung. A shame that such a good film is laden with such a bad theme.

• 'All Time High' (Rita Coolidge)

Much like 'For Your Eyes Only', I find this an insipid, weak dirge. Bond themes should grab you by the throat, not timidly tap you on the shoulder like this one does. Even a surprise rendition of it in Ted (by Mark Wahlberg) does nothing to redeem it.

• 'Die Another Day' (Madonna)

Utter tripe. Disposable pop nonsense. Haven't got much else to say about it. Awful, awful, awful.

• 'Another Way To Die' (Jack White & Alicia Keys)

It's not a bad song per se and it kind of grows on you but it doesn't really fit with the film. There's something slightly discordant about it as well which doesn't quite sit right as a song in its own right either.

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So those are my choices, my opinion on my favourite and least favourite Bond themes. Feel free to agree or disagree and let me know your favourites and least favourites in the comments below. 

Tez

(PS. Rhys will share his choices of his favourite and least favourite Bond themes on the week that the new Bond theme is released.)